Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am spending my child support on dildos
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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