She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Randomize
