ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
