after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
