Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
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I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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