I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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