i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
