I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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