I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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