i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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