p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
