seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
