ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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