i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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