I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
