You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
