you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
