now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
