I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
