fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
