I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
