Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
