Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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