elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home