As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??