How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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