I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
