my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
