Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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