her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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