i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?