Sponge bath it is.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
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She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
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Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says