those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!