Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
