My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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