I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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