drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
my being single is dangerous.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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