If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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