great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
