Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize