you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
