we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
