just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
