I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
