Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
