I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
as a side note pls kill me
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize