It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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