I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
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