so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the day after is always just damage control
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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