he wants to bone in the snuggie
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
