My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
