I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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