just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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