he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
