It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So here I am, sexting at work.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
