we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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