Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
