I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize