it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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