I want you more than these girls want KFC
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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