I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
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Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
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I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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