Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
