That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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