The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
