i just identified you from a description of your pipe
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
ok first of all what the fuck
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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