I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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