i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
