We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I FOUND THE LEGS
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